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I asked for the divorce, because she withheld sex from me

I am a divorced male, 47. I have 2 default daughters that I have not seen in about a year. My mother and stepfather passed away when I was in my late 20’s. My ex wife was a nightmare. I asked for a divorce… I cannot even recall when, but I think it was in 2013. I asked for the divorce, because she withheld sex from me for at least a year. I worked hard, went to work every day and she spent the money faster than it could be made. The final straw was when a friend was visiting me from out of town, and we went for drinks. A very attractive Asian girl approached us and asked for our business cards, as she said she worked for a charity.

She flirted with us and ended up hanging out with us, even buying us drinks. She saw my phone on the bar, picked it up and dialled her number. After being told for years how worthless I was by my ex, I was amazed. Now understand I was 40 years old, and had to worry about having enough gas to get to work on a $90000-dollar salary. We even had our water shut off on a house that was $106000. My ex opened up credit cards in my name and lines of credit, maxed them out to over $30000. All the while telling me I did not make enough money.

I text the girl, with innocent flirting twice, but also pointed out to her I was married. My ex found out, accused me of cheating. So, I knew she was going to make my life even more of a living hell, so I asked for a divorce. She took everything. I gave her 600 a week to pay the mortgage, take care of the girl’s Catholic school bill, and child support. All without a judge telling me. She used this money to get a lawyer and bury me under litigation. She did not pay the mortgage, she left the house in shambles. She has a good job making 600 a week, and moved in with a man. So, I met someone, we hit it off and I moved in with her. My ex made our lives hell. I could not live and afford a lawyer, so I decided to cut payments to her to 250 a week, the amount of child support. This was so I could afford a lawyer. I tried to do the right thing, but was forced to do the wrong thing. So, my new girlfriend made me leave, because my ex tortured us. I ended up living with the only relative I had in the area, my aunt. I was getting my life on track, trying to save money for a lawyer. I could not. I ended up paying my ex 875 a week plus I had to pay a 401k loan that was for her before the divorce to pay off the cars. She never played them off and blew the money. This left me with 300 a week to live on.

While living with my aunt, I met a wonderful woman. I told her everything, and did not want to involve her in my baggage. She insisted. Shortly after I met her, I was laid off of my very good job. She took care of me. It was hard to find a job that would not cost me money to get to. I went into a depression. I eventually woke up and got a crappy job.

The wonderful woman had a son, who when I first moved in with her, could not wipe himself, and he was 10. He would stay up on school nights drinking mountain dew, playing violent video games on Xbox, was emotionally troubled, would only eat burgers, pizza, chicken nuggets, and never ate a vegetables or salad, had manners of a two-year-old. Could not use a knife and fork…this should have been a huge warning for me. He spoke to his mother in the most horrible manner. I wanted to help her. I put rules. Eat your dinner, do your homework, take out the house trash and put the dishes away, and clean your room. For that he would get violent, throw fits, break things in the house. So, he threatened suicide. Now he would never do such a thing, but you have to take these things seriously. He was placed in a suicide watch care, and came out worse. He knew everyone there and why they were there, cursed worse than ever. His mother was on the phone 6 hours a day with the state child services, school, and mental health people. So, they sent out a family therapist. He would get up walk away from the session, fidget. He cursed out the therapist, who said he would have to return with his supervisor. Now 8 hours on the phone, meetings, mental health doctors. They were going to take him away. My girlfriend and me were distressed. We were trying to move and get a fresh start. We looked into schools that deal with this stuff, and found one. It took all her savings.

So now he is back, he did not finish the program. In the meantime, while he was away, I finally found a decent job, payed back all my child support payments, then was laid off that job. He was fine the first 6 months back, but now he resents me, he ignores me, insults me, so I decided to avoid stressing out my girlfriend, and ignore his misdeeds. He is back to his self. His room was so bad, he had to move into a spare room and now that room is trashed. So, I found a crappy job, with my ex getting two counties involved, me and who I thought was the love of my life trying to keep things together.

I cashed out the little bit of money I had in my 401k to get caught up on bills and pay back the 10s of thousands of dollars in law fees.
Now I finally found a good job, but stay in our bedroom all the time, just to keep the peace. I go to work, come home, and that is all I do. She is split, cries to herself all the time.

Now I love her deeply, and she wants me to move out. Who can blame her? I have no family, I have been isolated from my friends who have all moved away, because I could not afford to even travel to the next state. I do not have any family near me. I spend every holiday alone, and she always worried about me. I want to work a second job on the weekends to avoid the house. I want to help out at a charity on the holidays.

So, I am looking for the cheapest room I can find to rent, because my credit is so bad. I am alone, she was my best friend, my lover, and the only person in this world who cared about me. Now I have no one. I am looking for a room, so I can live my life. I have a peaceful soul that is in constant torment. I just want to live a simple life.

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