I come from a very religious family. I grew up as a Mormon and for the first fourteen years of my life I believed that it was true.
When I was fourteen though I started realising that I had a crush on this boy that I had been best friends with for five years. We went to church together and our families were close. I immediately stopped hanging out with him and avoided him at church. I did anything I could to try to make myself hate him. I couldn’t allow myself to have those feelings.
I began to be rude to him every chance I got, and it destroyed our friendship. My feelings towards males never stopped. I thought that there was something wrong with me and I tried to kill myself. I went to therapy and was put on anti-depressants, but it didn’t help. It only went away when I faced my sexuality and accepted who I was.
Once I did that then my family and many close friends turned on me. I found people who cared about me and moved out to go to college, but it still hurts knowing that my mom doesn’t love me as much as her other children. I blame the Mormon church for teaching that homosexuality is wrong. They say it is an abomination, but they also allowed terrible things like polygamy and not allowing black people to be full members of their church in early years. They also killed Native Americans for their land. But they say that I am terrible for acting on something I can’t control. It’s truly sickening.