I’ve always wondered if some people felt the way I did. How I see things and hear things. Now I’m not deaf or blind. I’m saying I don’t fit in. When I go up to people I try to fit in.

I’m so sick and tired of people saying to me stuff I don’t want to hear. Stuff that does not help anything. I’ve been keeping track of all the mistakes I’ve made, the night’s I’ve cried. You know what? I lost count. That’s how many times its happened. Now I like to picture myself in the future but it’s hard to because I don’t see a future with me.

I find how strange it is for humans just to live the same day as yesterday. I’m a person. Or at least I think I am. I feel like a new kind of species. Roaming through the depths of the world. I want to go beyond. I find it foolish of the lives of humans. I sense the greatness from some humans too. I find it strange to call myself a human. I probably sound so weird. I mean I am weird. What really is hard for me is that I battle so much things by myself at age 11.

Appearance, Moving, Anxiety, Depression, I’ve made so many mistakes. I try to observe the people around me. To fit in. Be like them so I don’t look like an idiot. Which I am. I wish I knew things. More things. Bigger than our brains can handle. Anyways I’ll finish it up at that.