I don’t see myself in my parents at all and they’ve never been an inspiration to me in any way. Apart from a passing physical resemblance and pictures of me with them just after I was born, there is little to suggest that I am actually their child.
They didn’t pass along any interests to me or take an interest in anything I did. They’ve never expressed anything to indicate that they have ever felt in pride of pleasure as a result of anything I’ve ever done. It’s like we were roommates for all those years instead of members of a family.
I never went hungry, never wanted for basic things like shoes, clothes, etc, but the emotional thermostat in my home was always set very low and deprived me of the feeling of belonging that forms the foundation for a more general confidence in yourself.
Seeing well-adjusted people leading what seem to be normal emotional and social lives – something I see every day – just reminds me of what I missed out on and always makes me think of how my life would be different if I’d grown up in another home.