Share one of your life's stories:

When writing your story, please use correct spelling and grammar. Please use a capital I rather than a lower i, and use apostrophes correctly. Such as I'm, don't, can't.

Loser! Freak! Loner! Nerd! Stupid! Worthless! Waste of space! weak!

Loser! Freak! Loner! Nerd! Stupid! Worthless! Waste of space! weak! Those were the words others have said to me. I’ve been wearing a mask and fake smiles for 8 years now. And so far, no one has seen through my mask yet. I’ve been bottling up my emotions though all these years, and yet it seems I will not going to be letting it out anytime soon. I started wearing fake smiles since I was 4, and as depressing as it may sound I haven’t stop yet.

I moved from Thailand to Finland. And in Finland I’ve made 4 friends. I lie about my feelings, I lie about not caring what the others think about me. I lie about not being mad that their parents are together and yet they seem to be complaining about their parents. I felt jealous that their parents are together yet mine are divorced. I lie to my mom that I felt fine about not going to the movie with my friends because my mom didn’t want me to go and see a movie that seems for “5-year olds”. I felt like at that moment my friends left me just like my old one did.

I kept on lying and lying that it became a habit of not showing my real emotions. I lie to my parent. I lie to my family. I lie to my friends. I lie to my teachers. Because of what I learn the hard way when I was little, “Showing your emotions is for the weak, but I guess that would be normal for you to be weak anyway.” Those words will forever be a part of my past that I can’t move on from.

I kept on lying even though it hurts on the inside. I kept on smiling even though I was dead on the inside. I kept on laughing as though I don’t have a care to the world when truly that laugh was fake and that I was screaming on the inside. Nobody heard my screams. Nobody saw the pain behind my eyes. Nobody notice the clues and hints I give them. Cause what they see is a girl that was happy with life, a young girl that don’t know the hardship of life. When in reality, behind the mask was someone that was dead and just broken.

The world really is a cruel place. People are just too blind to notice the struggle of some people who is fighting to survive.

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