Hi, welcome to my life.

I share everything with my mother and share a close bond and I thought that no one else will understand me but my mum would, but no I was wrong she is the one who is always taunting me.

I don’t know why everything I do is always useless, I try so hard to impress but there is always something missing. Every time I try they always think it is useless and always see flaws in what I do and always have something to complain about.

If one of my siblings do something and I have a say in it the blame always comes on me for some reason I don’t know why. Most of the times I ensure myself that maybe it is my fault, but when I know for definite that it is not my fault and I still get shouted it, then everything becomes evident.

I think they just favour their younger children and I am the oldest which is probably the reason why I always get in trouble. Sometimes I think maybe they don’t like me or it’s just because I am a BURDEN upon them which is why I always get blamed.

If I am such a BURDEN upon them why don’t they get rid of me if they can’t bear looking after me. This way they will have one less child to look after and a BURDEN off their shoulders. Which means that they will have time to focus on their other two children.

Recently, in school my friends where talking about how their parents favour the younger ones and I had my head held high and mentioned that my parents are different they treat each of their children equally, but no I was wrong, I suppose it was just the time of mentioning it and the tables turned that same day at home.

Every time I am at home I am always trying to spend time with them unlike my other two siblings and now I just feel like being alone, not talking to anyone and keeping my self-isolated. Whenever the family gathers together and talks about things I hardly contribute I feel scared as to how they may respond back.

From the three children I am the one that is always smiling, laughing at minor things to keep the house lively. But now I sometimes feel scared to smile I think they may mistake it as something else.
Sometimes I feel that I have lost my inner self and that I have the word BURDEN invisible written across my forehead which I think the family can see written but I can’t…