You know what, I’m going to speak out what I’m tired of holding in. Something I can’t tell my own parent(s) because they will call this being so shallow, I mean maybe it is sharing it to everyone else but them.
They will call my thought process pathetic. Not understanding what I’m trying to get at. It honestly feels as if I’m trapped and this is where I think my depression stems from.
Being stuck at home with 5 other children, and one finally gone. The fact that everything has to be a team effort, and I try, but it never being enough for my own mother or step farther. All they ever do is treat me like a child, they don’t want me to grow up to be like my older brother to not say I love you when there done calling.
Well it certainly does seem to be, you’re going in the same direction with me. Even though you don’t know it. Is even supposed to be hard to express your feelings to your parents? And all I think about now, is how am I supposed to spend another year living unhappily. It makes you think, can you make it emotionally? Without it destroying more of your mental health. How can you get help without it costing money?
I stay as optimistic as I can every day, it’s so great. But then it comes down to wanting to leave the house and do something. But you can’t, because apparently your gone all the fucking time. Once a week, huh??? You never allow me to do shit. But you let your oldest son get away with whatever the fuck he wanted, favouritism.
Then you defend him now, saying you never did. Despite all you’re lectures he ignored, being a 20-year-old without a job living with his father. You call that a mistake your right but at least I could do better. Treating me like a child, is the last thing you want to do to someone. Who’s so close to dropping you, when of age. I apologize for the language and the spill of my feelings. This will probably be taken down in less than 24-hour. Due to the stupidity of posting it.