when I was about 8 or 9, I can’t remember the exact age I was due to the trauma from this particular event, I was around this age though.
My older brother is 4 years older than me so he would’ve been 12-14, or even older.
I am 14 right now btw. But anyways when we were younger my older brother would constantly attempt to touch me inappropriately. I knew this was wrong even in my young age. I literally didn’t understand what he was trying to do but I somehow knew it was wrong.
I told him that this was something only people who were dating did. He simply told me that it was ok if no one knew about it.
Multiple times he tried to take my clothes off and I don’t remember if he ever engaged in full sexual intercourse with me, I’ve tried to block this for so long that I don’t remember most of it.
But one thing I do remember Is on day we were at a beach and we were swimming and he told me to take off my bikini and I told him to knock it off.
He proceeded to grope me and told me to do what I was told. I almost cried and explained to him that I wouldn’t do it.
I was terrified, there was even people on the other side of the beach. I almost thought about yelling at someone to help me but I was frightened.
After that it pretty much stopped as far as I know. But the event started making me hypersexual in my early years to the point where I even masturbated in front of him. He looked at disgust and I felt so ashamed, I still feel grossed out to this day. I didn’t know why I did it and I still don’t know why I did it. By brother is 19 now and I’m turning 15 in a few months, I’ve thought about this my entire life since it happened and neither of us have talked about it.
We have a pretty ok relationship now, we are just like any other sibling. We fight. We get mad at each other. I don’t even know if he remembers doing any of it. But I know damn well he knew better at 14 to do that to his little sister.