Hi I am Joe and I am 16 I wake up everyday and feel like harming myself (which shamefully I do a lot) I have never been social or socially accepted. Over the past few years I have been going crazy from happy to mad, small things set it off I get very hostile or to calm the only reason I have not off’d myself is because of my little dog romeo and fear that he would not be taken care of properly I wanna be happy but I can not I have been with a girl for almost 4 years and she is amazing and always wants to help me but I feel like i am pushing her away which makes me want to die even more. I only find joy in my dog, pet fish and marijuana I try to work with no luck I live in a crappy house with a mom who only worries about her and her boyfriend.I have seen my mom as a drug addict I have been beaten as a child and robbed had life long “friends” turn on me for nothing this is my story not much but this is what i have.I know there are way worse but this is me and this is mine

I do not know if i am looking for advice or if this will help i just needed somebody to hear my sad silent words thank you anonymous internet user for your 60 seconds that i could not get from anyone else.