Him? Yes him.. I cannot call his name here but I always call him “abang” or it means “brother” since I don’t have a real brother. I just met him last year since I started got a job. He is kind, really care of me, respect me as a girl/woman and even he just considers me as his “adek” which is a “younger sister”. First time I know him, I already like him. I’m afraid if he has a girlfriend but he said he is single. Same like me, still single. He knows that I like him even though I’m not yet tell him. He knows everything.
Actually, there a story why I still single since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend almost 6 years already. He’s Indonesian. I don’t know what my fault is. He just left me like a trash after 1 year and 4 months we become a couple. He’s married with another woman. From that happen, I always think I’m really stupid in the past. I really depressed that time. Really hurt and said I don’t want to love man anymore. Now I’m move on and almost 6 years I didn’t love anyone but what to do, God had a better plan for me, after “abang” enter in my life, he is like open my heart back to love/like a man again.
Okay, back to his story, he is open minded person. Oh, I forgot to tell you guys, I’m 21 years old and he is 32 years old. Yup, he is 11 years older than me but I don’t care, I’m lucky I have him. He really understands me. Just sometimes, I feel sad because there many differences between him and me. I’m a ……… and He is a ……….. (sorry I have to private our citizen). Our religion is not the same too but we respect each other religion. We work in the same place but not in the same position. He works as a cleaner and I work as a clerk. We cannot talk if we are working. Only say “Good morning” and “hello” if we meet and then continue do our work. That’s all every day. Only lunch time, we can have free talk privately.
Only God knows how difficult we are to be a good friend even many staffs in my office don’t like we are going out together, take our lunch. Even my parents I didn’t tell them. I’m afraid that my parents will not agree me be friends with him. I always cry think about our friendship and asked why God give him to me? I still don’t know the answer. I always cannot sleep well at night. Sometimes, I feel I would like to go far away from him but I can’t. I really can’t because we always meet every day. He will be going back to his country this July, this year, and NEVER COME BACK! Sometimes, I feel nobody understand me. If I have a problem, I just keep it myself and not share to him or everyone. I’m afraid they will worry about me.
He had been said to me “NEVER LIKE ME MORE OR NEVER LOVE ME MORE”, PROMISE ME! adek? I’m speechless. He said again “I don’t want see you cry and hurt you, when I’m going back this year, adek.” My tears falling non-stop. It really hurt me so much and pray to God, I will move on if it is the best for us. But one day, I really surprise he just kiss me in my lips. I don’t know how to react. I just feel he love me too but he doesn’t say it to me until now. He hugs me every day. He sleeps with me every day. He kisses my forehead everyday… I always cuddle at him. hold his hands and sleep under his shoulder. WOW~ How really happy I am? I feel I’m the only lucky girl even we just close friend, can we do that like relationship do??… I also always cook for him, eat lunch together. Yup I know we are really best friend but I really don’t understand until now, what are? I’m confuse