To be honest, I’m not feeling really well right now. Earlier this morning, I had to write an excuse letter for an advance absence in school. My Mom already made the letter and I had to type it first thing in the morning.

When I already printed it, I made tiny errors with the format and grammar. She started screaming at me for the next fifteen minutes. I corrected it and she screamed at me again asking me why did I take a strand that dealt with accuracy and precision. I had to skip breakfast because of all of this.

Then when I came to school, they told me I should have my mother send an email regarding my absences. So, I did, the first thing that she did was scream at me when she came home. I prepared it and sent the email many times and then it wouldn’t send because of an error in the name of the CC.

Mom shouted at me again telling me that I was so stupid and that it’s a basic. Sometimes I just want to leave this world. I want to slowly drift away into a place where I can escape from all of this. I already feel pressure for not being in class for my first week of school because of a family trip. I feel pressure because I’m fat and unattractive. I mean I’m like sixteen and weigh eighty pounds. I’m pressured and frightened by the fact that every time I read a text or anything I skip words and misread.

I’m scared with the fact that I’m going to left in the dust by my batch mates. I’m scared of the fact that I feel so unmotivated with my studies. For some odd reason, I’m a person with no talent at all. I’m not smart. I’m not beautiful. I’m not optimistic or sociable. BUT I AM HUMAN AND I MAKE MISTAKES…. why? why? don’t I understand myself so much….