One would have to be incredibly blinded to become emotionally invested into something that simply cannot be. Nose diving into something that pulls at your heartstrings can be as painful as nose diving into cement, the only difference is the sense of pain and the location.

For me, aching at the heart is far worse than any physical pain that one could possibly bare; and that’s coming from someone who has suffered from severe neurological problems due to something called ‘Meningoencephalitis and Meningitis’, a physically painless sense of hurt resides within my heart, and no physical pain can seem to match it.

At the time of my seizure, doctors were sure my time was done. A part of me today often wishes that it was. Everyone who has heard my story, called me a miracle. But deep within, I feel that I’ve been cursed. To be brushed with death, more than once, but never taken home. This leaves me pondering on when I will be called to go back. Especially when life and love is nothing but sorrow and a forlorn past, revealing nothing more than a faint light of hope for the future.