I asked for a friend to come over thinking that he would just come cuddle with me. He came over and asked if I wanted a back rub and I naively said yes. He asked for me to remove my shirt to make sure he could move the knots around better and again, I said agreed to it. He touched my boobs but I ignored it. He then flipped me over and kissed me. I allowed it because he was my friend and I didn’t mind a kiss. Then he started to touch me. He rubbed so hard that my lower lips are sore and swollen. He urged me to grab his cock. I said no because he is underage so he took it out himself and put it in my hands. I did what he asked and he played with me. I agreed because I was so depressed. I won’t ever classify it as rape because I never said no, but once and he respected it. He wanted to fuck but when I said no, he was “alright” with a hand job. He got me off and I got him off and he left. I feel terrible because he is underage. I feel terrible because I cheated on my girlfriend. She has said yes before to letting me play with him but only when he turned legal. I hurt and I am bleeding and I have a huge hickey on my neck. It was gross but I won’t think of him as bad because I want it again.