Have you ever just wanted to a group of people that you think are the coolest people ever in the coolest of ever?

You probably did but “you” don’t know how to approach them.

You pay attention to people in the group, but you feel sometimes that you be rejected. Especially if they’re in the room with these people you want to befriend you get nervous just because you have an impression and you don’t want them to think that you are stalking or pushing into their lives.

Especially since you are the most ignorant person in my full opinion.

I’m always in the mood to improve myself though and stop being so self-centred. Likewise hearing out people, listening to people, and stop what I’m doing and hear them out. It means so much because someone has so much to say about something they really enjoy, and I mean it’s nice overall. Like going to a person who just LOVES Harry Potter she be whipping out the theories and formulas and very thing Harry Potter related.

Take this for granted that I don’t like Harry Potter, yet that girl really appreciated that she had that talk. I mean I would like to have someone where I can talk about soccer FIFA Messi Ronaldo track running exercising biking and all of these things I adore doing in my lifetime, yet I just don’t know how to get myself out there and who talk about them.

I feel like I can get pushy and when I meet someone friend “material” my hopes are crushed when they start avoiding me. Then I realize hey they don’t want to be friends then they start being nice. It complicates me, and this had led me to just avoid people overall.

Like if nobody going to be my friend why even try I can be nice to people, but I just keep cutting people off but this particular groups of people have made me really thinking.

They are really cool and do things that really interest me. They hang out where I usually reside, and I just don’t know how to befriend them. They probably see me as an outsider or an alien. They probably already think I’m a weirdo but yeah, I’m used to that.

There 3 of the kids in one of my classes and one day one has a seat in one of class and I start observing (just because that person sits in-front and it’s right in-front of me) I observe what he does especially to his reactions towards his friends. I’m just curious and I already know them yet again I just don’t know how to put myself out there. I’m not a total stalker so I sometimes just talk to the person who sits to me which is really a good acquaintance. Then there are these types of people in an activity I join.

I am quite I have trouble being social and I’m not outgoing yet these people are always trying to make me talk invite me to a group hug and are nice. I am sceptical just because I’ll raise my hopes and I just don’t know how to communicate. I appreciate it though, but I just don’t know how to respond. This is actually shocking to me and I’m not even trying to be friend them it’s just that I want to get BETTER in that certain activity.

I guess I focused my life around getting better at hobbies that I have acquired over the past year instead of actually befriending people. There is this one hobby that I really want to get better but it’s so hard to grasp on it. I came here to get better but I’m not good. Yet I can’t sense that I am hated just because I do mistakes more often than the other kids who have been doing this hobby for YEARS. We be doing a game what team can do an activity the fastest and it usually be me who mess up and I be given the glances. This never happened in the previous in the other hobby that I have done for years and begin to realize that I am very very very good at it. I wonder why but the other hobby was a game that I can easily get better alone. While this hobby I need teamwork, but I guess I can get better.

I also need to be much pushy when trying to ask for a request from the group just for the sole reason I WANT to get better. I guess being that pushy has made me quite uncomfortable because being that demanding is not my quo. I have seen an increase talent in this hobby and I only like this hobby just because I love watching it and I am inspired to be one of this pro player. Sorry for the grammar but I just need to get my mind off of this.

Oh yeah, I only wrote this just because I feel like this the only way I can address my feelings. I don’t have anyone and I’m being honest more that I have to anyone.