I know what I did that day. It was just supposed to be a fun evening with my bf and our common bestie. She is more of his bestie than mine. She wanted to click pics and I didn’t want to come in between the friendship time, already had reduced the time they spend together. After a while I looked at them from afar, looked happy, clicking silly pics. A jealousy wave had hit me… hard.
The wave made me a bit rude to both of them. Tried to control myself and be nice. But it was a lost cause. I sat away from my bf although he sat between us. Normally we would be holding each other. Somehow that felt the right thing to do, although it just made me feel lonely/outsider. Could see the difference in his ways. He’s all about the movie when he watches movies with me, but with her it’s all about silly comments and loud laughs.
Somebody was telling me the concept of group and how he would not be in a group and would treat everyone the same way. I guess for my bf, there are two groups and behaves differently with each group. I’ll understand that. He also believes in the group concept the way I do. Although he won’t agree if I told him this.
Now I feel bad for being rude. I don’t even want to talk about it. Isn’t it embarrassing? Showing your weakness like that? Thinking don’t I trust my bf or what that I’m being jealous just by seeing him clicking pics with another girl who happens to be my best friend too. Gosh! Relationships are complicated.
You have to tell your boyfriend how you feel. It is not bad or wrong to have notions and wants out of a relationship in your life. Be vocal. If its worth it, it will survive. Silently absorbing the toxic feelings would eventually spoil everything. Try to build a solid foundation from start. You don’t have to feel left out. Talk it out. Good luck 🙂