I experienced failing one of my major subjects and I told myself that I don’t want to fail again. But these past few days it feels like failing again.

I was told to be positive at all times, but I can’t. I always tell myself I have to do it. I have to exert more. I have to change my study habit. Because I am ashamed to my mother who gives her all to me even if nothing is left for her. I even envy my sister and brother who never fail during their college days.

People around me believe in me, because they knew I can do it. I am happy to hear them but deep inside I am not. There are many what ifs. What if I fail again? What if I lose the financial support?

I want to give up, but I should not because being an accountant is my dream.