About me.

My dad hates me.

My sister and ex are practically best buds.

I’m a total stranger to my sisters.

My mum is just a title for the woman who looks after me.

My friends are just pawns in a chess game.

I love no one, I care for no one, I just want to be alone in the shadows.

Everyone hates me …every good thing that comes my way I destroy… those who loved me now loathe me.

I’ve never had the chance to say this.

But all my life I’ve always felt invisible, unworthy, and undeserving and in retaliation I took it out on those around me in hopes of feeling better. I’ve tried really to be a better person, but I cannot seem to stop the cycle as the list of casualties increase. No one can imagine how I feel inside… the disorder… the loneliness.

I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone. How can I? I’ve lost everyone.

My mum, the woman I disrespected, my dad, the man I hardly have time to acknowledge and my sisters, the ones who I am meant to be there for but lack the connection. I’m hopeless… to my friends I am their worst nightmare. They all see me as a stone but inside they cannot see me screaming out… wanting them to see me… for what I really am!

I know I can love… I just need to learn how.

But no one seems to realize that. I need you… I just need someone to reach out to try to understand me, try to help me… to guide me.

Weary??