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I felt stupid for taking him back

Someone I was seeing is getting married in a few weeks’ time.

I started out innocent. Flirting back and forth. He was once just a friend. When things got more serious, he decided to tell me the truth, that he has a girlfriend. I tried to pull myself away from him the moment I knew. He used a sick card to pull me back in and I was weak.

It was harder as we live in a different country and I get to meet him only once in a while. His relationship with his girlfriend was also long distance.

I felt stupid for taking him back, as I know that I’m with someone’s boyfriend, yet I couldn’t help but fall deeper for him.

it went on for about 6 months. So, in a few weeks’ time, he is getting married. I have ignored him for the past month, we still talk in public chats as friends but never personally. I have moved on from him and I am happy for him. I don’t bear a grudge at all.

Although, tonight for some reason, I remembered how it was to hug him and hold onto him that I suddenly miss him so much and yet I can’t tell that to him. I have to take this feeling and keep it deep in my heart and still be happy for him. I just wish that one day I could feel that way again with someone who cares about me wholeheartedly.

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