Whoever ends up reading this (I know it’s going to be you).
I am so tired. You’re right, I do keep using this as my excuse for everything, but am I wrong? I’m so emotionally, physically, mentally drained. I feel like I’m drowning in my own exhaustion. All I can do now is sleep. Sleep is my answer to everything nowadays. Stressed out? Sleep. Depressed? Sleep. You crush my heart again? I sleep for the rest of the day. It was once my temporary escape from life, but now life is becoming my temporary escape from unconsciousness. It takes the pain away, as well as the time.
My body only knows sleep. My mind finds no reason to stay awake. Longer and longer; 15,16,17 hours at a time. I can’t stop now, I’m too tired to stay awake; or maybe I’m too scared, too scared to face the inevitability of my mediocre future and my pitiful death. I can’t stay awake without you, so I rest. All I can do is rest.
It’s time to let me rest now. Let me sleep, let me go. I promise to wait for you as long as you promise to never wake me up. Lay me down, tuck me in. Goodnight, sweet dreams.
– Your dearest dreamer