Am new in here. But I felt that it’s the only way that will help me move on. In fact, I can define myself as someone who can’t sit goals, someone on whom you cannot rely. Well I guess life taught me this.
One person in particular, and that one person is my life. Well she used to be my life, but shit happens you know. I am trying to heal from a mistake that ruined my entire life. A mistake that made me this way. A tragic emotional person who cannot live happy anymore. Happiness became something I can’t reach. Well I guess pure happiness cannot be reached but we are trying.
I hated myself to the point that I started cutting hoping that one day I can end up all this pain. Nothing matters to me anymore. All I need is my peace of mind. All I want is to feel alive again. Call me stupid but my life ended when she is gone. It been a year now and am feeling the same thing I felt before. The hurt, the pain all of that is still here. And I can hear my heart beats so fast whenever I hear her name. How I wish I could get over her. Over this ugly toxic thing. But guess I love pain and that pain is so sweet.
when pain become something that we face everyday we get used to it it becomes a habit a thing that we are looking for everyday something that we need it otherwise we feel uncomplete that happen when we allow someone to have all our dreams our hopes our love and most importantly our mind your mistake is not loving but its loving too hard that you lost yourself in someone that went with her life without knowing that she had taken everything that defined you