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Well I guess pure happiness cannot be reached

Am new in here. But I felt that it’s the only way that will help me move on. In fact, I can define myself as someone who can’t sit goals, someone on whom you cannot rely.

Well I guess life taught me this. A one person in particular, and that one person is my life. Well she used to be my life, but shit happens you know. I am trying to heal from a mistake that ruined my entire life.

A mistake that made me this way. A tragic emotional person who cannot live happy anymore. Happiness became something I can’t reach.

Well I guess pure happiness cannot be reached but we are trying. I hated myself to the point that I started cutting hoping that one day I can end up all this pain. Nothing matters to me anymore. All I need is my peace of mind. All I want is to feel alive again.

Call me stupid but my life ended when she is gone. It been a year now and am feeling the same thing I felt before. The hurt, the pain all of that is still here. And I can hear my heart beats so fast whenever I hear her name. How I wish I could get over her. Over this ugly toxic thing. But guess I love pain and that pain is so sweet.

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