Dear Shirley and Steve,

I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for nine years. We met each other at seventeen and have been together ever since. We have four beautiful children, no outside children, just us. We have never married but it doesn’t bother me, I honestly feel he is my soulmate. The reason for that is we always didn’t have the proper finance to have a wedding or even enough money to spare on a certificate because it could go towards something that we need. I don’t need to know where I stand in his life. I am his wife, and he is my husband. Should I leave a great husband, dad, financial support for me and our children, I love him for everything he does for us. I am very blessed to have a relationship with the love of my life and father to our children. For quite some time he has told me I don’t want to hurt you but there’s something missing. Honestly like every woman thinks, he is cheating on me or he wants somebody else. And as a woman I can agree that they are probably right or their man is just desiring one. Man are just being human its very hard for a man to just want to have sex with one person for the rest of their life. Why should he feel less of a man because he knows and accepts who he is? Is it wrong of him to come forward and tell you its what he wants to make him happy? We have been rocking for years and still don’t see anything stop the years to move on. It takes a lot for a man to tell the woman in his life that since we are so loyal together and understanding that could I have a extra woman in my life. Of course I was mad and said me or her, make a choice but again I wouldn’t be going on how I about life by judging and accepting who you want to be. What’s wrong with having two women by your side and still be able to support your family and be the man you want to be? Some are like he is selfish and he is only thinking of himself, you need to leave him, how dare he ask you this?! But is it wrong to say everybody are selfish? They think about what they can handle and go by their judgement because its rare or not appropriate in today society. He is respectful, he provides, and protect me, we are an important in each other’s life. Is it wrong of me to not allow him his happiness because its not normal for a woman to agree with that proposal. Its seem really insane but in reality a lot of men want to be this honest with their queen, but cant truly be open enough and tell her the real truth, instead of faking it. Because they intentionally don’t want to break the person they truly loves heart. Is this the life you want for yourself, and he said “yes”. Who am I to judge? If getting another woman is going to please you love then okay, simple as that! I back up what I say, I will do anything for my man, hands down, no questions asked because of who is in my life. I’m honestly sceptical about this because its just normal woman jitters about the other woman. But I’m willing to put my best foot forward and see how it goes, besides it could be going down a horrible road, or have a positive turn out. Just try it!, Its not like I’m being pressured in anyway to agree or disagree. I can see if I can deal with it and move on or if its too much for me and leave. Either way I would truly know if I can be happy or not honest with myself instead of asking what if? If we decide to separate, I would be losing him but still allowing him to be truly happy with himself, and allowing me to choose for myself instead of him making the decision for me by stepping out. No one knows what they want until they experience it for themselves. I know he wouldn’t love me any less but respect me for making it last with no limitations of my love. He will still do anything for me and provide for our family regardless because I know what type of man he is. So my question is do women think they should not please their man in anyway at least without trying, before leaving their home. My home is worth keeping in my eyes and I’m willing to give any possible outcome a chance before letting go. I love my husband and with him I deeply know he feels the same way about me. I know this sounds crazy but its a unspoken truth that gets bashed because of the lack of trust, and how someone can be judged. Thank you for letting me express myself, be blessed.