He clothed me, he changed my diaper, he fed me, he washed me, he bought me toys, he did my laundry, he cleaned, but he did it for himself, because he raped me.
I remember so many bad times, but very little good times. I think its because when it happened I thought negative, like this is only happening to me, but I was young, I didn’t know what he was doing was wrong. I was only four, and five, and six, and- it ended at seven. Why? Because I was strong and spoke up, I told my mom what was happening, she believed me, she’s the best mom ever. I had to go to the hospital, be put through injections and questioning. They took my mom away, kept me from her, I lived with my Grandma, my mom wasn’t in jail, and they just wouldn’t let me see her. They thought she was in conspiracy with him, did they not believe me? I only told the investigator, Tom, the truth. How could a seven year old make something up like that? To me, they treated my mom like trash, like she was nobody, who knows, I might not be able to tell you this story right now, if my mother didn’t believe me. Sometimes I wish I could end my life, but I know now that you only live once, you have to make the best with what you have, and what is given to you, and if you can’t believe in yourself, then you need to go to church or find your true passion. We then went back to my house, the police were there, and my mom picked me up and carried me to my room. I saw police swarming around my dad’s chair, he was sleeping. I couldn’t see him; all I saw was black, black uniforms, black space, and a black mind. I was falling asleep by the second, my mom told me everything would be all right. Why mom later told me that he denied raping me and he didn’t know why police were arresting him. But, he later admitted to ten counts of rape. He has caused me so much pain and stress, it is unbearable, I can still remember what I was wearing the second time it happened, a froggy night gown, I was an innocent child, but he took that away from me.