Yes, I’ve made mistakes. Life doesn’t come with instructions on how to do everything. You live and learn. I’ve always found ways to get away, maybe it’s because I’m always running instead of trying to fix things. This was a day I just felt like leaving, I know everyone has one of those days where they wish they could just get away from everything. But I wanted to get away from everything for good. I was fed up with being tired, of being worried about everyone but myself. I always gave everyone my last even when I didn’t have it “Keona can I have $20 to get my nails done this week?” Even when I didn’t have it I always said yes! When was I going to be able to do for myself? When was someone going to do for me? I was fed up with the lies, everyone telling me they’re going to do this, and they’re going to do that, or when everyone uses the same line “I told you I was going to be here for you, I’m not going anywhere.” Fed up with stress; always being yelled at, and being told what to do. I was fed up with life, I wished I could just play hide and seek and that nobody would ever find me. I just wanted to be alone.
The night I left was kind of like a journey, I did a few things I never imagined. I went with two of my friends to Davenport, FL for Austons go away party he was getting ready to leave for his air force training. That night I met his whole family I had a lot of fun. I even did some things I probably shouldn’t have done but I’m a teenager I wanted to experience fun. We had jello shots, wine coolers, liquor, and other things like food and snacks. I only took a couple jello shots it was my first time but I actually liked it. I also got to try smoking from a hookah for the first time. After the party was kind of over we were planning on what we were doing next. After all we are young, the night still wasn’t over. We finally decided on what we wanted to do everyone wanted to go to the club, I was kind of thinking on how I was going to get in. I kind of told a slight little lie about my age, they thought I was eighteen years old. But I still agreed on going to the club with everyone, before we could go Auston had to make a quick stop before we went. I told him I would ride with him and we would meet everyone at the club down town. We had to take his aunt home it was my first time in Ebor city.
Ebor city is a part of Tampa that I’ve never been to. I told him I’ve never been here before and he started laughing because he thought I was joking I was real serious. We dropped off his aunt and since I never been there before he took me down town and showed me a few places, a couple clubs and good restaurants to eat at. We finally got back on highway on our way down town it was just the two of us in the car. It was really quiet until I hooked my phone on the aux cord and started playing music. When we reached down town it was 2:00a.m. Everyone was inside when we got to the door the people asked us how old we were and we both said 18, Auston was actually 18 and he had his ID. The lady asked me where my ID was I told her I didn’t have it but I guess they assumed I was really 18 because everyone I was with was 18 and older so she let me in. Before I walked in the lady asked me for my number she was a dike I kind of figured that she liked me because she made Auston pay $15 and I got in for free, that was the first time I tasted pineapple Cîroc.
Being away forty eight hours, I didn’t think I could handle being away from home alone at the age of fifteen. I had the thought in my head that somebody actually cared about me that I would only be gone for a day not even a full 24hrs, I thought someone would actually come looking for me because they would notice I was gone. As the hours passed by I was still out and about on my own. Feeling all alone I called my best friend phone and told him what was going on and I got tired of walking around all day so I went to my best friend house and laid down for a while. When I looked at the time it was 9:00p.m. and still I had no phone calls no texts in my phone so I got the feeling nobody was looking for me nobody cared that I was gone. My best friend and I walked to the store. I told my best friend sometimes I just want to forget everything. He always gave me a positive talk he told me “even though you feel like you want to forget everything and runaway, that will never solve any of your problems.”
Time still was passing by it was 10:30p.m. And I still didn’t have any notifications on my phone I started to get careless and not worry about the time or who was calling or texting my phone anymore. That night I slept at my best friend’s house by morning I left he had to go to school I should have went to school but I knew that if I showed up to school if anyone knew I was missing from home I would have automatically been caught. The worst part about me leaving was I knew if I didn’t go to school I would miss my entire end of course exams. I was getting a call on my phone, but it wasn’t any of my family it was my brother’s girlfriend calling me to tell me that he was back in the hospital. That day I left Pine Hills and went up to the hospital with my brother, I stayed by his side the whole time he was there until they finally discharged him after almost three days.
The day my brother got discharged I got a phone call from my mom in Atlanta, GA she asked me what was going on. I told her it was nothing she should be worried about she’s been gone 5 years what could she possibly do now to change the way I felt. I got some bad news while I was on the phone with her. She told me my sister got into a car accident but I couldn’t believe her didn’t know if she was lying or telling the truth.
Whether she was trying to set me up for someone to find me but inside it felt like the truth. After my brother was discharged from the hospital I left went back to Pine Hills to see some friends than my brother text me and told me to come over. I got back on the bus and went to Ivey lane where my brother stayed he wasn’t outside when I got off the bus I saw my cousin Malik just standing there, as soon as I looked at them they told me “don’t run, come get in the car”. . I got in the car because I already knew my cousin ran faster than me it would be pointless to run from him.
Remember the part when I told you I was tired of the lies… well the lies started up again. He promised he wouldn’t leave me at the house that he knows what I’m going through. He told me we were going to get my things and I was coming home with him. When we pulled into the driveway everyone was outside waiting for me I didn’t want to get out of the car, but I did anyway. And by the end of the night when everyone was finished talking I still ended up staying in a place I didn’t want to be my cousin told me he thought I should stay because my mom was in Orlando. It’s such a big world, with nowhere to run. One day I will leave, and never come back. But this time I won’t be labelled as a runaway.
