Everyone have their own views on friendship and love. I have mine!
Until recently, I was pretty confident that I’m not going to fall in love or get married. I was just fooling around with my life
But now, I feel it would be good to hold on to someone.
So there is this girl, whom I have seen recently.
The day I saw her, I felt as if I’ve known her for a lifetime.
That instant connection!
Never felt this way with anyone else.
I know, I haven’t talked to many girls. But I haven’t spoke to this girl too, when I felt this connection.
I wanted to be friends with her.
And I did.
Been a month now.
And just today I realised something.
I have started caring about her more than i did for anyone.
I’m happy when she is around.
I feel extremely good, when she talks with me.
I check my phone way much to see if there’s a text from her.
I trust her so much, that I’m able to open up myself completely with her.
When I shop on-line these days, I start searching stuffs for me and end up adding items that would suit her.
She has entered my subconscious, that I think about her all the time, even without my knowledge.
She has given me the feel, that if she is with me, I can face the whole world if against me. (Well.. she is damn smart! She will help me to figure out a way to go against!)
Damn, I’m mad about her! Maybe I’m in love!
But she doesn’t feel a thing about me. I’m just one of her many friends. She never opened up to me or cared for me. Of-course, she would have better friends than me.
You know what the interesting part is. I don’t worry about that. I haven’t expected anything in return from her. I have accepted that she doesn’t feel the way I do. But i can’t stop the things I do for her.
Maybe this is what friendship is! Friends don’t expect things from each other. They just give.
Well.. I’m not sure if this is love or if this is just the way friendship is supposed to be. But as long as she is with me, my life will brighten up much more than I could ever imagine. And I wish it could be a lifetime!
When my friends come up with this kind of situation, I always tell them, “Whatever it is, just let her know.. Because you shouldn’t regret later thinking, what if she said Yes. ”
Well.. But I can’t!
You might ask me why not
That’s the beauty. I won’t be happy whatever the answer is.
If I tell her, she would either say yes or no. (I’m pretty sure its the latter. )
Lets say she tells me NO.
What happens then? I would loose the most beautiful part of life so soon. Within a month!
Also, she trusts me. She trusts me as a friend. Won’t I be a cheat.
Well.. I don’t want to loose her so soon.
Definitely I’ll loose her when she gets married. But I can at-least cherish more memories of her!
So I’m not going to tell her the way I feel and spoil this relationship!
But what if she says YES.
Well.. I would be the most happiest thing ever happened to me.
I want you to know about her.
She is so cool, never worries about anything much.
She is the smartest girl I have ever known.
She is mature.
She is clever.
She makes very good decisions.
She has both the beauty and the brain!
She is beyond what i deserve.
I’m like the over-thinker, immature guy, making bad decisions all my life, not good looking, not rich, freaks a lot guy. In short, I’m the guy, every girl would hate being with.
I know all this of me will change, if she could be with me.
I can feel those changes even in this one month of relationship.
But imagine, just like I long for someone who is better than me, she too would be longing for someone who is better than her.
A guy who is super cool. Smart. A bit mature than her. Clever. Good looking.
She deserves someone way better than me.
And I know this. How could I ruin her life, even after knowing what’s better for her?
Won’t I regret it all my life, if she says “Yes”.
No. I’m not ready for this.
She could never know what i feel.
That’s not a big deal I guess.
I just have to stay away.
Maintain my distance until this feelings in me subdue. After that I’m going to stay friends with her as long as possible.
I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong. But I know, I won’t be regretting this ever.
This will add to the numerous untold stories this world has!