The feeling of an endless mass rumbling and screaming for your soul. Your heart is decrepit and far from sturdy; you feel weak. So, weak that you can feel the darkness dragging you down, pulling you closer to the mass of which you don’t want to meet; but you have given up. You haven’t the strength nor the confidence to keep going. If only you could go back; if only you could stop the clock; if only you could put it back to the time that you felt joy. When you were young, and felt free. You’re so caught up in the arms made of shadows wrapping you in to this depression; that you don’t even remember that time, do you? This barricade of shadow that keeps pulling you even deeper down, away from the light while your mind is still searching through its archives; trying to find a time that you felt true joy. It feels like it’s too late, you can’t move and you feel no pain. As you think about how little others have cared for you; you wonder why you’re still caring for yourself. Maybe you should just give up so you won’t have to feel like this anymore. Maybe you should just let this bubble of hatred for yourself, loneliness, sadness and pain drag you down to the darkest depths of this void. To the very bottom where it’s so empty and dark that you can’t even communicate with yourself. So, empty that you wouldn’t have to feel this way anymore. You’re feeling too decrepit and broken to go on, maybe ending your suffering is the only way out…

The feeling of being cut off from society – not by force, no. Not being dragged off to rot in a decrepit – lonely prison cell; but simply the feeling of being cut off. Feeling unwanted; only being there because you /need/ to be. Maybe by family; or maybe those “Friends” who you didn’t even choose as friends but they don’t even bend around their timeline to check if you’re okay when you’re feeling down so are they really friends? No. They’re not – you’re just there; your life moving; along with the earth. The only difference being that the earths timeline is infinite where as yours… Yours is shrinking – the clock ticking, slowly preparing to stop. To stop – leaving you in a void of darkness and nothingness. Who’s to say there’s anything once this happens – who’s to say that it’s the /end/. Though, those “friends” won’t think of you then – being the last thought on their mind. Only spreading their sorrow through social media – jumping on the internet hype train to nothingness; yet not caring either way. Your death only being de-discovered when scrolling down their feed. Why should you care for them if they’re incapable themselves?

This is not a death note, no. This is me sharing my feelings.