My name is Steffi, I’m 14 yo going on 15, before I started my story, I need you all to not being a judge(?) a-hole ok?

I like to steal money and things from my family, the worst that I ever done now was withdraw money from my mother’s account without her knowledge it was about 2 million IDR (rupiah) to buy iPhone 6 that I don’t even know what to do with it, anyway.

I also like to tell lies, correction, not like but it just kind of happen, but now I promise myself to never do it again. Ever. But now I just felt empty, nobody understands me, not my family, friends, or anybody else, It’s almost like I’m a fake personality.

I’m tired. I just want to quit everything. Like death sounds tempting to me right now, and more reasons for my mother to beat me other than thieving(?) and lying.

I don’t have a good score like my sister. I don’t know what happen but I swear to God, Before, when I was still in Junior High School (now I’m a freshmen in senior high school) I got a really good score, and always get into the big 10 rank, now I always got into the big 30 and by all means my father and mother started to say some pretty hurtful things to me, saying that I’m an idiot, I have an ugly face, I’m fat, stupid and I’m a disagreement of this family (all my family members are smart and always a straight A’s student).

I really started to think, the only answer for me feeling peaceful is when one of us died, it’s just me or my family. Please help me. Give me some advice.