So, one year on.

One year after my abusive relationship ended. It took me a while before I could call it that, abusive. But that’s what it was. Controlling, manipulate, threatening. the list goes on. It’s easy to look back on the bad times and ignore the good, there was so much more bad. Is it selfish to look back on the good? it is bad to smile at the happy moments when most of the relationship was anger, hurt and pain. At the end of the day I still loved him. Yes, he hurt me. Yes, he covered me in bruises each time I saw him. Yes, he repeatedly made me cry. I used to think I deserved everything I got. I didn’t. I know that now. All I ever wanted was to make him happy. If that wasn’t with me then so be it, I know that now and I’m okay with that.