If you have sleep insomnia and haven’t been diagnosed by your doctor because no one believes you. They think you just sitting looking at the internet on purpose. Then I know how you feel because my parents have never believed me that I can’t sleep at night. It started when I was about seven years old.

I am now twenty years old that is thirteen years of suffering from sleep insomnia. Yes, I suffer from depression and anxiety and no those are not my main cause for not sleeping. I hate hearing people go straight to oh it’s not sleep insomnia if have or depression and anxiety. Granted depression and anxiety don’t like to let you sleep either but yes you can still have sleep insomnia even if you have depression and anxiety. Sleep insomnia mainly means that your whole body doesn’t shout down at night like it should, so you are stuck being wide awake until you can fall asleep.

Having anxiety and depression while suffering from sleep insomnia does not help at all because while you are hoping to fall asleep your mind is going through old thoughts, memories, and even making you think that you are not worth anything. Most of the time when you see things talking about any of these three things everyone has to share because they need the attention.

While most people think the ones sharing something about these three things the people who are actually suffering from them just read all of these types of stories and posts. When the people suffering see other people share these just for attention most of the time it will make them feel bad for you and make them feel worse about themselves.

I know I am saying this as I am writing this, it is kind of ironic, but it has to be said. No one suffering from these types of illnesses don’t have enough courage to saying anything or share things because they have been put down so much because of these illnesses. Personally, for me suffering from all three of these it is so hard for me to even go to work because I am so afraid of messing up or making someone mad. I have probably called in only about six times for working where I work because I get so sick from these feeling I get from my illnesses and somehow, I am able to call in without having a panic attack.

So, I actually got hurt at work but because of my depression and anxiety my head told me not to tell anyone because they don’t care about you here, you’re just a nobody. So now it’s been almost three months and my hand are still in a brace and I am stuck without anything from work because I didn’t fill out a form for getting hurt.

So, if I had enough strength to go to the doctors to get it checked out and they take me out of work I get no money I just get to be jobless until it heals. So back to sleep insomnia I haven’t been diagnosed because like I said earlier my parents didn’t believe me. I have tried counting sheep like they told me to. I have tried sleep meditations like they told me to. I have tried two different types of sleeping medications and nothing has helped me at all. The thing I want most though is to just have someone believe me about what I am going through.

I have done self-harm but did it where no one could see because I would get told I need to stop trying to get attention for no reason. I have tried to overdose twice but I couldn’t go through with it because I know eventually I will find someone that will believe me and support me. So, until that day comes along I have to suffer on my own. So, everyone that is actually suffering from any mental illnesses you are not alone no matter how alone you feel. Plus, not to mention what your mind tells you go for what you fell is right.

Don’t forget if you are feeling so down in the dumb or your illnesses are very slowly killing you and you want to try and end your own life to get rid of the pain. Please no matter how much you think you are too far gone for saving. Just trying and talk to someone for a little bit. Living is always the worth. Please never chose death or living.