ok.. this is a bit long..but please do read it…The world aint a wish granting factory. people are hypocritical.. judgemental and cruel. they are really selfish… i fell inlove with a guy..possibly for the first tym in my life.. i had been in a pretty bad relationship before i met him.. i did think at that tym that i was in love with my x. now i realise i was not…i was never in love with that guy.. yet in my cofusion i went ahead and had sex with him..i was 15.the worst mistake f my life .. it literally turned my world upside down. becoz 1) i had to move out of the place i had stayed in since my birth coz of him 2)i missed out on possibly awesoe opportunities that were just waiting there fr me and 3) i lost all the friends that i had made till then coz i had to move out and i had no way to contact them( ps. they backstabbed me too)…yet.. i didnt give up on life..i went ahead to my new school a little bit bolder and a little bit more self aware of my feelings.. and thats where i met HIM.. he was everything i needed.he was just as if gods had sent an angel down from heaven to save me… he was and is awesome…he supported me.. was there when i wanted and needed him to be.. knew how t make me smile.. wuld come and talk to ME if we hadnt spoken to each other in a while.. how in heaven cud i have not fallen for him? it was one of the most purest and best friendships ..the probs came weni fel fr him.. my school ended.i joined college.. i told him about the way i felt for him… he loved another girl..nd wen i told him that i cudnt bear to talk to him any lnger.. he DID NOT ALLOW me to break the friendship.. and this went on for two years.. right now im literally broken and shattered my self esteem has suicided…. oh and he has started avoidig me now.. but i still lve him like mad..i had fights with my new friends all the time.. i live in a hostel so i cant even be with my mom.. i cry to her on the phone all the time and she in turn taking tension about me has developed many diseases.. i hate myself now.. im lost lonely and currently have no where to go to …. i wanna survive.. i wanna survive dear lord.. give me the strength
