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I used to feel like killing lots of people

OK, so I used to feel like killing lots of people. As time went on, the number of people I felt like killing went down exponentially. However, as the news got worse and worse, my rage amplified, and it was being narrowed down to specific targets, such as politicians. I felt as though killing one of them would send a message to the world.

Then, the news seemed to focus a lot on these mass shootings happening in my country, and when I heard about the pain and suffering that the victim’s families were going through, my rage started going down, especially with the Vegas shooting. I could no longer in good conscience hold on to such hatred.

One day at work, the boss even talked about what we could do in the event of a workplace shooting, and all it did was remind me of all the bad thoughts I used to harbor. I felt absolutely horrified with myself because of that. The only thing that stopped the horror was receiving a hug from a woman I like. It reminded me that I am a good person who deserves to carry the title of “human being”. Even so, I find myself at a loss as to how to change the world. If violence is out of the question, then what’s it going to take besides protesting and letter writing?

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