So, it was all good to be very honest. Except a few things, life is going well. I am working out well, eating clean of weekdays and I’ve achieved my best shape too, I’m reading my books and painting.
But today I feel irritated, I mean this constant need of being productive is killing me, I painted and then wanted to do some creative work but could not think of anything creative. It pissed the fuck out of me. I don’t really know, maybe I am being too hard on myself.
It makes me feel like I’m not good enough or as if I’m wasting my time. Yesterday was my cheat day, I ate junk and at night I could not sleep and as I touched my body I started feeling fat, and this feeling of hatred emerged in my heart. I really want to fight these feeling. Need to sort out my life for better.
I want to accept things in life, and accept the fact that what’s gone is gone, I can’t have it back now. I want to do what’s right for me so that I am able to evolve and grow and become a better version of me. I want to let go of the burden on me.
I’m taking baby steps and I know I will be alright but today I just wanted to vent myself and tell myself that I deserve love, care, and everything. I will fight my problems and be at peace with myself. It’s really difficult to do what I’m doing, I’m proud of me. Thank you for reading.