Everyone knows the feeling of being watched, stared at. Now, imagine that instinct being confirmed by different people commenting on things you’ve done in your room, alone. Now, imagine this happening for the better part of 8 years, and there’s not a single thing that you can do about it.
To escape this scrutiny, imagine you take long walks. This could be seen as suspect behaviour, a stranger aimlessly wandering… So, it’s not so strange when you begin to notice several familiar vehicles.
Imagine you begin to see the same vehicles 3 or 4 times in the span of a 2-hour walk. Curiosity being peaked, you do research & find the most likely answer being P.O.S.T. officers, or the C.C.J.C., All these eyes monitoring you like an animal at the damn zoo, simultaneously for the latter part of the before mentioned * years. And, – again, not a god damn thing you can do about it!
Fucked up, right? Welcome to my life. What makes thing worse is I have no one to turn to, to lean on. Everyone is in prison, dead, or just gone. The few people I do have around me are two-faced & only pretending to be my friend. As lonely as I am, I pretend, too.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to slit my wrists. I have children that keep me around. For them, I continue to clench my jaw & white-knuckle each day. I just needed someone, anyone to know what I’m enduring, along with life’s daily stresses.