I recently have had a lot of stuff going on in my life. Very emotional stuff and I’ve been stressing a lot about it. But during this time in my life, my online friend, let’s call him Matt, has been absent.
Three months ago, I met a guy on the internet who I had a lot in common with. Too much in fact. This guy was Matt. I’m 18 and at the time, so was he. We both were in bad times of our lives, we both had been through homelessness and we both had a bad parent, well for him it was “parents”.
When I first started talking to him, it was on Snapchat. I barely paid any attention to him. Sometimes I didn’t even want to respond. But then Snapchat listed him as “my number one best friend” and put a golden heart emoji next to his name. That’s what Snapchat does when you talk to someone more than anyone else and they do the same to you. But I couldn’t figure out why the golden heart was by his name because I didn’t talk to him that much and to be honest, I thought he was a little weird.
But something told me to give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to him anyway. He turned out to be kind of funny. Pretty smart too. But when he told me about his past, I immediately felt a deep connection with him.
We started texting each other everyday the minute we woke up. We would send each other random pictures and make random jokes about anything. He told me about another girl he had been talking to a few years ago who suddenly stopped after a while and that he felt so bad about it. So, it made me think that he must value online friendships a lot.
We even decided to work together to try to find a way online to make some cash.
We live in two different countries which are very far from each other, but we felt close as ever. He had plans to leave his country and to come to my country and start a new life. So, we were planning to meet each other in person one day.
Eventually our golden heart on Snapchat turned red. We probably exchanged hundreds of messages to each other in one day. We would tell each other that we love each other (I don’t know if he meant romantically or not because he never told me).
But then he started talking to other girls and flirting with them. Then he would take screenshots and send it to me. It made me kind of jealous. Eventually I started doing the same thing but with guys. He seemed to be annoyed when I did this. Any time I wasn’t able to talk to him, he would be annoyed.
But recently, his attitude changed. He doesn’t say “bye” or “goodnight” anymore and some days he doesn’t even talk to me. He doesn’t say “I love you” as much anymore either. The thing is, he’s not too busy to talk to me because he spends hours on Instagram during this time. And I told him that I had been depressed lately and that I needed someone to vent to, but he still doesn’t give me the support I need. This been going on for the past two weeks.
I know this is ridiculous for me to feel so bad about it, but I feel like I lost my best friend. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me as girlfriend anymore, I just want my friend back. I haven’t found anyone like him since. Do you think I did something wrong or did he just move on?