Well I had always wondered as a kid what the future had in store for me. I had these fantasies of what my twenties would look like. But now when my little metaphorical bubble that I thought was my life is at a threat of bursting I have finally come to realize that all the ideals I once held up high seem so meaningless.
Like everyone I am scared as to what the future holds for me. I guess most go through this stage and my experience may not be a novel one but nevertheless this thought that “it happens to all” can’t seem to pacify me anymore.
At one point I thought that being a good student was all it takes to reach the “goals” of life and this would somehow makeup for the lack of social skill I have. But now when I am facing life outside of my bubble it seems like I am not good at both. The “good grades” I once had, hold no meaning now and the non-existent social skills seem to be still non-existent.
Now that my once upheld ideals are crumbling, they seem to be dragging down the goals and dreams I once I had for my future. The kind of life I once wanted to live seem not so tempting anymore. I somehow find my simple and unexciting life more precious. Is it the fear of the unknown future making me a coward and I seem to be conditioning myself to believe that the life I’m living right now is the best and the happiest?
Or is it that I have really come to enjoy my mundane life of doing nothing. Why do I feel the need to defend my current life from the all those people who tell me to live a more “meaningful” life? Why is it that a life full of excitement, dreams, goals and ambitions the only one worth living? Why can’t my way of life be good too? Why is it that I have to make a mark and not making one is not living life to the fullest? Why is my way of life being looked down upon? Why am I told that I might just as well as have been born as a rock or tree if I had to live the current way?
To all these people my only defence can be that “Well I am living my life to the fullest!” It is exactly what I am doing. I am living my life in the way I want. If doing nothing “exciting” makes me happy and leaving me with no regrets, isn’t it living my life to the fullest? I get to do what I want and in the way I want. There is no pressure of meeting goals and expecting a so-called better life.
I am happy and contented with my current flow of life. I would rather have a mundane and happy life than an exciting one in which I try to meet the standards of a fulfilled life set by the world, where I end up trying to scrape out happiness till one fine day it runs dry.
One can enjoy and be happy with one’s way of life no matter on which end on the ‘excitement spectrum’ of life it is on. You can be happy with your life and you are living it to the fullest by your standards just like I’m trying to do by doing nothing and still living my life to the fullest according to my standards.
I AM HAPPY WITH DOING NOTHING.