I can’t understand myself. Is it my failure? Life is so complicated. We can’t predict what happens in our life. Nobody can understand our feelings better than ourselves. It’s not anyone’s fault. Each and every person is different. Their feelings and perspectives are different. That’s why I’m sharing my feelings here. I’m dying to disclose my feelings…

Love is a beautiful feeling and the most painful thing to lose. Family is our world and strength. I preferred my family and not love. I was shattered but I didn’t have any other option at that time. My family is my father and mother who lives for me only. I can’t betray them. But then why did I express my feelings to him? Because deep inside I had a hope that at last my family will give more value to my happiness rather than proving before the society. I expressed my feelings only at that moment when I couldn’t hide it anymore. At an overwhelming situation. But when I understood my family won’t support me, I was totally distracted. I broke up with him and avoided him but still loving him inside. It took 3 years for me to accept that situation. In that 3 years I didn’t contact him.

But even after 3 years I missed him a lot. So, when I felt that I accepted the reality I talked to him. I’m happy that he also accepted that. Now he is my best friend with whom I can share anything. But I think I still love him, but I didn’t deserve him.

I had a best friend. He was my classmate and left the school in the middle, but he still maintained good contact with me. I know him, and he knows me very well. But our friendship starts to fade when I understood that he loves me. I don’t want to hurt anybody else and I couldn’t consider him other than my friend. He was too sensitive also. I asked him to treat me as his friend. He became sad but still agreed. But it was not going good. I felt that he couldn’t change as long as I kept contact with him. I told him that and stopped contacting him. I talked to him after a long gap, he was still my best friend, but to my shock, now he is suffering from Leukaemia, third stage.

Something haunts me deep inside. I don’t know why such things happen. I don’t know whether I did anything wrong? Or whether I did was right? Am I playing with their emotions???I don’t know…