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I’m a lost girl who can’t find her purpose in life

I’m so sick of how everyone in this house is treating me.

I’m always the bad one and no matter what I’m the stupid one although I’m studying in piloted school its school for brilliant pupils and he did not get to enter.

I’m the bad one although I pray and he doesn’t I’m a muslin.

They never care if I’m not okay they never try to listen to me I hate the way with which they’re treating me I have tried everything aren’t your parents the ones who supposed to be there for you to understand you to encourage you I don’t understand why they had me, to compare me every day with their older son !!!to tell that I’m less beautiful less intelligent less creative that I’m not worth of anything!!!

How I’m supposed to have confidence to know my worth to have self-esteem when all I hear is he is better then you well maybe he is but I’m good too I’m good and I’m your child too why you keep forget that.

When no one give a fuck about me crying that crying become Well l yes I need attention.

I really need someone to save me someone to see what I’m seeing in myself someone who value my someone who truly listen to me and who remind me constantly of my worth who tell me every day that I’m beautiful until I get used to hear it so I don’t get confused and anxious every time I hear it someone who believe in my ability.

Someone who tell me that yes I can do anything I want that I can reach the sky if I want to someone who believe in me just as much as I do I don’t want to live alone I don’t want to feel lonely anymore I want to find a home a true one.

I don’t want to die but sometimes I wish I was not born at the first place.

I feel that pain I get used to it but it stills there it wakes up every now and then.

And then they blame me why you are never satisfied why you always ask for more things.

Well honey you raised me to be this way to hate myself to ask or things trying to fill the emptiness you created in me.

I’m a lost girl who can’t find her purpose in life because all she is thinking about is why they had her.


One Comment

  1. today I feel guilty to my parents, I’m not the type of girl that smart, don’t have a pretty face either, from many things I think I only have one thing that I can be proud of. and I know that I’m not really good at it. I feel like I have been disappointed as a child. I feel that I should not be born if indeed I am not useful in this life. now I’m still in class 2 high school. but there seems to be nothing I can do at this age. what should I do? that’s what I always think about, can I boast of my parents someday? or am I really disappointing them? I always feel worried about my future. actually I am a religious person but I rarely do my worship, if I ask Him I feel embarrassed because I only come when I feel troubled but I have never been grateful when He gave me blessings. then what should I do? we’re in same situation. sometimes i thougth maybe if I never been born what life would be like without me. but I am more grateful for my life

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