I fell into depression at my early teen age. At first I was normal and happy but it didn’t go for that long. My best friend move to other school. I don’t have close friend other than my best friend. After she move away I was alone. Nobody was there for me.
Went it’s recess time in school I will always eat by myself. I will usually sit under a tree a look at other students. I thought to myself how lucky they are to have friends. I want a friends to just like others.
My grades were getting down to. I usually have only A and B but now it is E and F. My mom thought my grade was bad because of the new friends that I made. No mom it’s because all the friends that I never have. School before was my favorite place in the world before. I love studying. Now school is the place I hate the most.
When I’m at home I use my phone as the place the forget how sad my reality of life. I use it every single time in my day. Until I became addicted. I can’t stop using my phone. I always love family time. I love it when I have a chance to meet my cousins. Because they won’t hurt me right? What’s the worst thing could happen. I was wrong. I saw my three of my cousins two of them are boys and one girl. They was talking about something. When I try to join them, their conversation stop and leave me alone. I feel unwelcome even with my own family.
I manage to make one friend. She was a nice person. She had a squad and ask me join them. I was happy it’s like I have win a lottery. But it didn’t go well. The other girls in the squad ignore me all the time. They only be with me when they have a problem. I will always help them. I always notice if someone have a problem but they never notice my problem.
Everyday in my life I pretending to be happy. Even though I actually fell empty. My condition was being better until one day there’s a mean girl in my squad that always teasing me about everything. She always teasing me don’t smile because it’s annoying. Even when I laugh she will say bad things and how ugly my smile is.
It makes my confident level low. She makes me think everything thing is bad for me. One day she make fun of me. I was so mad until my hand automatically slap her in the face. Its not just a normal slap it’s really hard her face turns red as soon as I slap her. That moment became silent and she never reported it to the teacher because she knows that she is going to get herself in trouble to. I hope that one day someone that God has send to fix me. I’m in depression but no one notice. I just need someone to fix me.