Meth is stupid, but also addicting. I’m a drug addict. I’m recovering, but hell if it isn’t hard. It’s every day that I think about going out and using again, just until I no longer hurt, both inside and out. The first time I did meth, I smoked it with two strangers I let fuck me so I didn’t have to pay for it, and I smoked it for 8 hours straight. I’d never done it before, and I did it constantly for 8 hours, with poppers, and DMT. I was so fucked up.

And now, I’m 30 days clean, but I want to go out again and use. I miss it so much, and no one gets it in my life, about what is so addicting about it, because all they know is that it’s bad and that the comedown and detox is fucking horrible. But I know. I know what it is that I like, and it’s hard to remember about the negative parts when all you want to think about is the positive. I’m trying. But it’s so hard.