I just need to vent. I have no friends. And I like it that way. I would rather pour out my heart to complete strangers than to maintain friendships. I don’t care if that’s healthy or not, I’m so far gone in the sense that I just don’t give a fuck anymore. I’ve never really been very social but I mean I used to care about having relationships with other people, but now I don’t. It’s so much easier that way. I am pregnant with my 5th child and you’d think, you’d THINK, I’d be so happy, but I am not. He has ruined that for me. I am no longer happy about anything. And no, I did not get pregnant on purpose. Off the top of my head, all the things he has done to completely kill the person I used to be, which wasn’t that great to begin with, is as follows. He calls me worthless, a burden, ugly, stupid, fat, a nobody and anything else he can think of to hurt me. He told me that if I died no one would care, except him, because he loves me oh so much. He constantly would humiliate me in front of his friends and family, which is why I don’t go around people anymore if I can help it. I am constantly sad. I cannot leave him because I know I’m too stupid to make it on my own because I am pretty sure that I have some sort of mental disability. He already told me I would fail if I try to leave him and he’s right so I’m stuck here. My parents are dead, I can’t stand the one brother that lives in the same city as me, and like I said, I choose not to have any friends because I just don’t have the desire or the skills to maintain friendships. I don’t feel anything anymore besides anger and pain. I have no joy in my life. I hate my life, I hate myself, I just hate everything in general. I have no hope at this point.