I don’t really understand dating. I read stories and always imagine the person I’m gonna be with one day. I dated 3 different people so far in my life. The first one was my first lesbian experience, because I was hurt and lost and so was she. I wanted to be needed, and so did she. We broke up when I move to college and couldn’t remain friends afterward. I was naive to believe that we could, but it was just too complicated. A year later I finally decided to give this guy a try, he was in love with me since the 7th grade. My friends told me to just see how it goes, and after dating for a while he was introducing me to his mom, his team, and talk about marriage. I was scare, because even though I was happy dating him I couldn’t see us together in the far future. I knew I had to break up with him before we got too deep. I didn’t want us to waste our time, and he could do so much better. Three years later and after getting my first degree, I started dating another friend I knew since high school. He was a good buddy of mine, so I was very surprise when he confessed. I told him I wanted to take it slow. I’m never had my first kiss nor had sex with a guy before. Although I ended up kissing him, but I didn’t like it. I really like him but I could tell that it wasn’t love. I feel like a bad person because I broke up with anyone that ever like me. I feel like its more wrong to have someone on the hook, and breaking it off early before getting in too deeper is better. To sum it up I had my first (and last) lesbian experience, my first boyfriend, my first kiss with a guy, and so I want the next one to be special. Maybe, I just don’t know what love is. I just know that I had always felt incomplete and there is this void inside of me. I just want someone I’m attracted to, to help me feel complete. I don’t think I even know what love it. Crushes, sure. But I never let myself fall in love. Its scary and I don’t know what I would do if I got hurt from a relationship.