Currently I’m in seventh grade. I used to be popular I guess, I often hung out with the popular girls who were all skinny and wore skin tight booty shorts and almost super model skinny. I got invited to parties and socialized. People would often greet me, even though I had no idea who they were. Now I think I’m average looking, I have long legs, I’m half Asian half British – I used to have long sombre hair that I often straightened. I still wear crop tops and high waisted shorts and I guess my average sized. But I trusted a guy let’s call him Smith. Now Smith was popular in ninth grade, he was friends with my best friend at the times brother. Smith wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but I guess he was average. I was desperate to be liked, I guess it’s because when I was younger my dad sexually abused me, and seeking attention in guys is the way I make up for everything he ever did to me. Smith had asked me to take my clothes off on camera and me being the stupid little slut I am did it. He screenshotted it and sent it to everyone in 9th grade. Immediately tarnishing my reputation. When I was in grade six I began cutting myself with a pen knife and often threw up just so I could be skinnier I went from 48kg to 42kg in a month just y throwing up and avoiding food. Then this year I admitted to my mom that I attempted to commit suicide, she immediately admitted me into a mental institution. It was most possibly the worst time of my life. There i witnessed someone being held down and strapped to her bed, she was crying so hard and all I could do was wipe her tears. The saddest part was that she was older then me and it was heartbreaking that I couldn’t do anything to help her. After three days I was allowed to leave but I often go back to get antidepressants. My mother uses corporal punishment against me, one time she had hit my so hard on my legs,arms and face with a belt I had gotten a nose bleed. Another time she had punched me and hit me in the back of my head with a brush and the back of her ipad mini then she had cut my hair off. My hair is now up to my shoulders and I often tie it up in a bun, I am bisexual so currently I am dating a girl, if my mother ever found out I think she would disown me. The last time I cut myself was a month ago, I don’t see a future for me. I don’t know what to do.
