Hates a strong word, I only use it because I’m slightly still bothered…. But what I can say is that I despise you. You’re disgusting.

I despise how you lied to my face and made me feel like I was safe in your arms.

I despise how you told me you’d never leave; throwing bullshit lines here and there and handing me empty promises.

I despise how you can say all that you said in 2 to 4 long paragraph texts but turn around and be a hypocrite to your own words.

I despise how I let you in my world and gave you my all; basically, showing you my raw self that no one has ever seen because I trusted you.

I despise you for filling my head up with false dreams and over exaggerated goals.

I despise you for gassing me up and making my self-esteem boost; feeling like I cannot be touched because I was with you.

I despise you for making me feel like a princess when I was only dirt on your shoe.

You. Have. Lied. To. Me.
And I despise you for that.
I’ll never forgive you.
I’ll never befriend you.
I’ll never see you again.
I’ll never be ok with you.

You’re a horrible inhumane human. Your mother raised you better than that and I know she did but I guess you don’t care and you’re just young and reckless with feelings.

You’re just like the rest of them even though you preached and praised about being different. You “went thru hell and back” proving me you’re different and will never “hurt me”.

Liar.

You’re weak. A coward.
You couldn’t even say this to me in person.
I haven’t seen you since the last we hung.
If you were a “young man” like you claimed….
You would’ve came to me and did this the respectful way.
Just remember what you did to me.
Just remember how you lied to me.
Just remember how you broke me.
But also remember how you lost me.

You lost a wonderful woman who was willing to do anything and everything for you hell and back.

I THOUGHT you were my soulmate but soulmates don’t leave their soulmates.

You never loved me. You loved the thought of being in love but a person who loves someone would never even think about cheating or leaving.

That was me.
It never crossed my mind to cheat on you because I loved you so goddamn much.

But you?… You never loved me.

I was never in your heart or mind or soul or even thoughts.

Everything we did and shared, every memory we made, every inside joke we cracked, every song we sung, every dedication we dedicated to each other, every joke we played, every fight we fought, every night we sex, every kiss we made, every hug we created, every phone call we did, every event we went to, every holiday we celebrated, every dream we dreamt, every goal we set, was it fake?

I didn’t affect you at all? I was just something to pass time I bet.
You made my heart ache
My eyes swell from all the tears
My chest hurt
My thoughts explode

I’ll never understand why you couldn’t treat me the way you “promised.”

I’ll never understand you and I don’t plan on to because you’re a waste of space and time and energy and breath. You’ve created a monster within yourself and I never want to see you again. I hope one day you look back and see what you’ve done or even say “damn I fucked up.”

I don’t care who comes across in your life…just know they’ll NEVER BE ME. Ever. I don’t care how prettier she is, funnier, cooler, thicker, smarter, crazier…shell never be Latia Marylee Jackson.

No male will ever let another woman or women change his thoughts on his girl. If those track girls and high school girls were tempting and throwing themselves at you and you just couldn’t handle it all because I “wasn’t there”…well then you didn’t need me in the 1st place. None of these college boys caught my eye because I was mad crazy for you.

You let temptation get the best of you.
Weakling shithead.

Ha! That time you got so mad at me because I went through your phone without your permission, remember? Yea you spazzed on me and hurt my feelings and said you don’t regret it and don’t apologize for it and yea I was in the wrong but… it’s just social media. But guess what I did? I still stayed.

The day you walked off on me leaving me alone, I still stayed with you.
The night you said, “fuck you” to me, I still stayed.
The night you didn’t care about my safety because of something you assumed, I still stayed.
The times you’d ignore me for hours while we’re sitting right next to each other, I still stayed.
The time I cried in the bathroom because you were this close to dumping me, I still stayed.
The time you didn’t invite me to an event cause’ you was mad at me, I still stayed.
I stayed because I thought it can change or it’ll all get better.

My best friend Tasneem was right by my side, I text her everything you’ve ever done bad to me and she’d really make me see things differently….
But I still stayed.
Stubborn.

You know what I regret? I regret planning our house together; the rules– decor– and all, I regret telling you my childhood nickname and you calling me it. I regret making you presents I spent hours and sleepless nights on. I regret crying those nights when you’d get mad at me or didn’t trust me. I regret going out to dinner with you. I regret going to that park and doing things we shouldn’t have done. I regret spending the nights at your house holding you as we talked about life. I regret you saying you wanted to marry me. I regret giving you my virginity. I regret everything–I can go on for hours. I regret it all because I’ve wasted 9 months. 2 months talking and 9 months dating. Never done that.

The way your ex broke you and gave you trust issues that I had to deal with and try to gain back…. you did to me.

Now I got to heal.
I don’t get a thank you?
I helped you with your damn homework
I sat here days in and days out debating if I should leave you because you still wouldn’t trust me
I dropped people for you because you assumed me for cheating
I made my IG account private for your sake of privacy
I turned you on to Snapchat
I made sure you stayed on top with your grades and college information
I brought you back to Musical.ly
I got you interested in digital art
I trusted you while you was at school
I was patient when you’d say hurtful things you didn’t mean and apologize afterwards
I rubbed your back and let you vent to me
I kept your deepest secrets and still do
I was on your side when my sister accused you of things.
I had to be careful with what I said and did 24/7

I remember the days of the breakup I would have panic attacks and outburst cries because I wanted you back so bad. I damn near forgot my pride for a moment and cling on to something that wasn’t going to work, but I felt it would. I kept texting you and hoping you’d be yourself again; damn near low-key begging for you back in my head hoping this was all just a sick joke. I let you threaten to end us completely if I didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. I couldn’t sleep, eat, pay attention. I was a mess and I vowed to never go down that path ever again. It wasn’t worth it. I was sick in love.

You know, I loved your family so much it hurts I’ll never see them again because they didn’t do anything wrong to me.

What’s the matter with you? You believe in God so much you damn near had the nerve to say I didn’t believe in him but, yet…. you’re making a sin yourself. I don’t think God would enjoy seeing you do such a thing.
Does your mom know how we ended?

Does your grandmother know?

If you told them word for word what you did and how you did it–all sides of the story, they’ll be very disappointed in you because they raised you better than that!

Those two women mean the world to you and I thought I was part of it but it’s ok I’ll be a daughter in law to my future man’s mom.

All my friends and family have been there for me thru this rough time and I cannot thank them enough. If it wasn’t for them Idk where I’d be with this. They’ve texted me truths I needed hear, got me out the house, let me cry when needed to, distracted me, etc. Things you should’ve done as a boyfriend but you’ve failed.

Tremendously.
My step dad was right about you, I should’ve listened…

I don’t care if you bought me damn near everything and spoiled me and was funny/silly and we had 100000 things in common and you respected me and my family and temporarily treated me like “the love of your life” … all of that doesn’t matter because at the end of it all…you didn’t keep your word, you disgusting liar.

Goodbye and good riddance.

Hope life treats however it treats you and don’t ever hit me up for anything fucktard.

Karma’s a bitch.

You’ll never hear from me ever again so whatever memory you have of me that’ll be your last ??