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I attempted to hang myself twice but I couldn’t

My life has been good as well as pretty rough, it’s mixture of both where happiness constitutes about twenty percent whereas sadness, sorrow and grieve constitute the other eighty percent.
Since childhood my dad has been abusive to my mother and us, but it wasn’t enough, I have faced difficulties among my friends and relatives too.

Well if I kept writing about those small or big events which shattered my heart and made me depressed it will take centuries to complete so I will get straight to the point that made me share my life story with you all.
After being disturbed from my family, I started finding joy in friendship and brotherhood, I was in my teenage years so it’s all about hormones, I didn’t know what I was doing.

During this stage of my life I made many friends whom I used to have fun with, but later in my life I noticed that no one cares as long as you spend money on them as long as you throw parties for them they will be by your side, but the moment you stop all this and expect something from them, that’s the moment you will betrayed at even by your own best friend.

Studies and admissions in top college already make one’s life pitiful but the feeling of being alone makes it even more sad. The feeling of being suicidal because you don’t have any friends whom you could count on make it even worse. Everyone is so nice until they make a person life dreadful and suicidal or even worse.

I have reached at a point in my life that where I don’t even feel like trusting anyone not even my closest one. I don’t feel like going to party or on social gatherings. My inner soul just demands peace now, no more heartbreaks because I won’t be able to endure them.

The most sad part about my life is, I still miss the people who made my life miserable I feel like I can forgive them if they come back once again in my life but harsh reality is no one cares until you are rich or when you die.

I attempted to hang myself twice but I couldn’t because I still have my family whom I can’t hurt at any means.

I try to find happiness even in smallest things that are part of our life but at the end of the day I am left alone with whom I can share none.

The reason why I wrote this because it’s the middle of night, I am hurt and broke but I am alone and I had kept all these feelings deep buried inside me until I found this page.

My eyes have already dried up all those tears were wiped off but yet still I endured the pain once more my heart asked my brain: When this will end? My inner thoughts whispered: its life bro.

One Comment

  1. life is tough, and forgiving is easy but forgetting is different. to forget something, you have to really forgive them and want to make up for those times what isn’t easy to do even if you have gave them a second chance. just trust, you can’t change someone to make them be you’re perfect friend, but one day you will find that one person who understands you : )

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