I grew up with my dad abusing my mom. When my dad eventually left, my mom became emotionally abusive towards me soon after.
She would taunt me, tear me down and I had a love/hate relationship with her. I soon became too scared to be weak in her eyes thinking that she would mock me, so I never really shared my feelings with her.
This kept going and I still do not share my feelings with her. I became aggressive, anxious, and always doubted myself.
This is so sad but you need to be strong.
Don’t let your past determine who you are and who you can become .
My mom wasnt very nice either and I have no happy memories of childhood just flashback images of her aggression and abuse .
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger .good luck !
I am 54 years old now and mother to 5 children ,unfortunately because I never learned how to show emmotions and affection to my children, until I realised over the years that not all families live the way we had done when growing up I had not furnished my own children with kisses and hugs etc .
However they are doing much better with their own children and I now tell my grandchildren I love them and hug them all the time which is something I never ever got from my own mom.