I have a step-son I’ve never met. My husband has been completely open about how his divorce went horribly wrong. Even he doesn’t know what caused his ex to divorce him. But he admits that during the divorce he tried numerous times to see his son and when he did not get to see his son in a year he tried to play ‘hardball’ and it backfired. He ended up losing custody and parental rights.

I kind of thought he was hiding something until his ex-posted on LinkedIn and Twitter bashing him relentlessly. He just shrugged it and made comments saying, “I tried (whatever).” and “You need to stop. You got your wish…” and the police even showed up here saying HE was harassing his ex. It wasn’t true.

I know my step-son is thirteen years old. I know his dad loves him and misses him very much despite not seeing him in over ten years. I see moments where he reflects. Christmas and his son’s birthday always bring sadness. I see how he is with our daughter and he is not a bad dad or spouse at all.

We’ve had arguments from time to time and I’ll be honest that I’ve punched him or assaulted him a few times. He has never hit me back. He has never cheated. I’ve see him protect a woman from abuse. I’ve seen him pick up and carry a woman from a burning building. I’ve seen him protect kids from danger. In times of distress he has gone hungry and sleep outside to make sure things were okay for others. He has stayed up for days doing things for so many people. He has put himself last so many times.

He truly a great man and I wish I could convey that message to my step-son because I know his mom is brainwashing him to hate his dad. I used to be very pro-woman but now I see that some women misuse the title. I am a horrible mother (I once punched my husband as he held our child) but I’m really trying and if by chance I have another mental breakdown and he decides to leave me I hope he gains custody of our daughter because he really is that great of a parent.

So, to my step-son, your dad is an awesome person. He loves you so much and misses you. If you ever want to come visit, you are more than welcome. I’d love to meet you and introduce you to your half-sister.