The past year has been very difficult. Multiple family members have died, the man I thought I would be with for a long time chose to be with someone else, and I lost my job.
I feel like I can’t allow myself to be happy at the risk of something else terrible happening. I am really struggling with the loss of people alive and dead. It’s almost been a year and very little good has come compared to the bad.
Normally I am not such a negative person, but these months have been weighing on me. I have thought of death more than I’d like to admit. It would be a lot easier to not have to get up in the morning. I am hoping that things don’t end that way for me, but I am running on empty. Just felt like I needed to vent since I am having a hard time trusting anyone. Why aren’t our lives our own?