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The feeling I hate the most but makes me flatter

I don’t know how it all started but I just remember We were together in a music team. He plays the guitar and I play the keyboard. He has his circle of friends. All of his friends are also members of the team.

Sometimes, I feel out of place when I am with them so I went away than to be with them. Then this boy approached me and talk to me and ask me if I want to join them just to eat outside. And I tell him what I feel when I am with them. And that was the starting point. We’ve talked a lot. Sharing my thoughts, sharing his thoughts, talking about his secrets and mine. Then we’ve known each other more than anyone else.
Then this feeling started. The feeling I hate the most but makes me flatter. The feeling that makes me sad and makes me happy.

And I continue the story. I thought he’ll be the guy for me. I thought he looks on me as a woman but then it’s just a special friend. Until I just discover that I am not the only one whom he updates himself, whom he cares about. There are so many. And now, he is attractive to a girl where maybe she’ll be the one for him. But then, this heart of mine is still in to him. What will I do now? I can’t stop thinking about him. From the time I wake up until I lay down.

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