Hello,… I’m a 17 year old boy from an island country and I just want to tell what kind of a life I burden,…
In my childhood,… My parents took care of me really well,… Obviously because I’m their only child,… But time passed,… My father moved abroad and I had to live my life along with my mother moving from place to place most of the time,… Throughout time our family really broke down from the economic side,… It began to arose serious money problems for us,… My mom always started to argue with my father,… Sometimes they even hit each other,… It all started when I was about 11 years old,… Things kept getting worse,… As I live a really lonely life without a father and with not many friends,… But just with my mom,… I was never good at socializing nor making friends,… Even though I had some friends that I could call my best,… They all eventually betrayed me in very tremendous ways,…
Time really moved on,… I became 16,… Most of our relatives kinda abandoned us,… Because they were all spending rich and happy lives while it would really be a rash to care about us,… I continued my school life,… at first,… I was a bit bright at studies but now,… I really can’t focus on anything,… My mother’s got various health problems and yet my father continue to fight with her,… With all that, no matter how hard I try to concentrate on my school work,… It won’t work out,… My mother started mocking on me almost every single day for no reason,… But I can’t argue with her that much at all because she too is going through a real lot,… So as a solution,… Every time she blames at me,… I start listening to by plugging my jacks in or watch some of those Japanese cartoons,… I know that those are really childish actions but at my situation I really have nothing to do,… Listening to her blames for no reason only hurts me more,… So that’s the least I can do to survive,… Thinking of all that , I can’t sleep at night,… It’s either a headache or depression,… And yes,… Talking about teenage stuff,… I never had a girlfriend,… It’s no surprise because I never had much friends either,… Besides,… My self is too open to others,… So I’m pretty sure no one will ever think of making friends with a loser like me,… The only thing I’m good at through my entire life is those computer stuff,… I pretty much know about them than an average person,… I mostly get selected for those stuff because those are just theoretical work,… But it was something practical and social,… That would always be against me,… It’s either last or somewhere around last,… So recently through these times,… I’ve been thinking that my existence fo this world benefits no one and no one either benefits me,… Only thing that my existence do is to give a burden to my parents,… They fight over money and stuff because they earn for me to learn,… Though I really can’t,… I never have a person to take advice from nor talk to about these stuff and I feel like disappearing from this world,… It may sound funny and gibberish,… But I mean it,… I really do,… There’s nothing else I can do for my self nor I don’t have anyone to help me with,… So without a purpose,… There’s no need of an existence,… No one’s going to miss me either,… And as for my parents,… Losing me would be far better than fighting and suffering each day for my cares,… I really am in a situation where I can only see one way of escaping this hell,… This utter hell,…