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I am 20 years old and I am afraid of sex – My Rape Story

I don’t know where to start with this really. I’m a woman and I am 20 years old and I am afraid of sex. People may say this is bullshit which is why I haven’t said anything really, until now that I can say this. Only my best friend knows this and he finds this very unusual and he doesn’t get it which is fine by me I need nobody to understand is just that I want people to know that there is no rush but I have a concern. I am a nurse and I provide sexual orientation to teens that are sexually active, and well I state the obvious. People may ask why I haven’t had sex, or they may say am I waiting for marriage which is not the case. When I was 12 years old my family and I moved to Texas Porth Arthur. It was a big change for me because I lived in Puerto Rico and I had to adjust to a different culture and a different language, well me and my sister adjusted very well to school and the facilities that you have it was very amazing. Until we started school, I was in 7th grade and very nervous student really, I was immediately bullied for the colour of my skin. Well for me it was shocking cause I was raised in an environment where I didn’t see the colour of the skin as a problem. For you guys to understand, I am white and I was in a school where the majority of people were black and Mexican, which I don’t have a problem with them. I guess they had a problem with me. Every day was a struggle and I was spit on, bullied constantly. Getting hit on by girls and boys. Even though it was very hard I was on the honour roll and I was trying to make the best of it. Until one day when I asked If I can go to the bathroom and they gave the bathroom pass and I went. As I was in the bathroom 3 men came to the bathroom and started to open the doors and I didn’t know what to do so I pulled my skirt up and hid my feet to see if they leave once they were punching and kicking my door. I went under the bathroom stall and passed to the other bathroom stall that’s where they pulled me on my legs and they started to hold my legs and arms down as they covered my mouth for me not screamed, I kicked I punched and I was making a pretty good fight until the three of them started to undress me. I was trying to pick my clothes up but I was too weak and the force there bodies into mine and they started raping me. It was so silent and the pain was to horrible and there was a moment that I couldn’t hear anything. I thought that the world stood still for one moment. One by one they took turn and each time I fight and they would hit me and do what they wanted to do. When they were done, I was left on the floor bleeding. I was awake but my mind was white and I couldn’t react. In that moment, I was found by a genitor which she said ”oh and another one who sent me to the nurse’s office they clean me off they gave me something for the pain and let me rest and I continued to take the class and that was it, I was an unknown case a garbage disposal. I never told anyone until now. It’s hard how this have affected me tremendously and how I saw the people in the hallway like nothing happened and I was so scared and humiliated about what happened. A few moths I moved back to Puerto Rico and I just went on living.

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One Comment


  1. Omg! :'( That is the most scariest situation I have read. I salute you for how you handled it. That would have been it for me..

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